After that last post I went and looked through some film slides of my siblings from Easter in 2010. I spent all night putting together the Easter baskets. We woke up and sat around all morning eating yummies, fooling around, tossing candy into other baskets across the living room for tradesies. Everything is drastically different two years later - at least, in regards to all of our relationships with each other.

 

Ben's off to college now, but our friendship is stronger than ever. I can count on him, he is honest and kind and trustworthy and is built with good intentions. He's the funniest person I know. And I have prayed for so long every area of these relationships could have been as blessed to transform in such a positive manner. A life long bond with my with my dark haired, hazel eyed, beauty of a sister; my best friend in the world, didn't so much as slowly change as it did shatter in a single hour. What happened, happened, and it's not something I focus on any longer. As for the other two girls and my youngest brother the age difference between us never made for a very conductive relationship building environment. Though as time goes on I enjoy watching all of them blossom into the people they are becoming. I love them more and more each day and I wouldn't trade any of them for anyone else - even if we're all slowly drifting in different directions on our own little rafts.

 

 I don't expect anyone to really pay much attention to this blog, honestly, and I'm writing and uploading all of these things for myself. In times like these I feel an overwhelming sadness going back to albums where life was, not better but, in many ways much more full of a different kind of sunshine. Full of different goals and hopes and dreams. Full of different people. So I'm forgetting the embarrassment that comes along with broadcasting bits of personal heartbreak. I never want this journal to be censored from what's really going on. Just an honest insight from what's evolving in my life.